OKAY. im typing to nobody. so here it goes. im just gonna release all of my stress out on here. no format. no spell checking. just my crap.
i dont even know where to start. i hate boys. how about that? i was looking foward to going to texas- i still am- but now idk if it will be all i was dreaming of. and literally, dreaming. my first crush, that i've mentioned before, isnt replying to ANYTHING i say to him. its making me pretty upset. i have this deep feeling, where everyone thinks im kidding, but i am being totally and completly serious about it. i am marrying him. i love him so much. and that sounds crazy. because i have said that about only one other guy, seriously. and it turns out that i am STILL getting over that. but this one, the one i want to marry, is something special. people say that you have to be a "certain age" to know what love is and that you cant truly be in love with someone at my age. well, look who's wrong. all those skeptics. yeah, thats right..im in love. and im not afraid to say it to anyone..but him. and i wish i could. but he is two states away and there is no way that it would work out right now. im looking at a time frame from ATLEAST three years from now that i will be able to tell him. unless i know for a fact that he feels the exact same way as i do. then i can tell him in less than six weeks. if he will just respond to me, i will feel a lot better. you see, us girls are very complicated. even i have a hard time trying to explain it. all i know is what i feel. nothing else. and this is how i can best explain. so, lets just hope and pray that the better of my dreams happen and i will be able to have the future that i have......wait. THAT IS MY FREAKING PROBLEM. Its God's plan that needs to happen. not my dreams or my plan. it needs to be God that brings us together, if it is His will. of course, i hope atleast us seeing eachother would be in His will. i dont really know what we will do in Texas, yet. i mean, my mom has a whollllee list of people that she wants to see. and so do i. i just hope things work out. well, now that's off my chest. :|
mom just got off of work and i hope she gets home soon. i just want to give her a big hug and get some dinner! i have tumbling tonight for cheer. lets pray that we're all safe and have fun! school is almost over. 3 weeks, 2 days. lets get this shizz donnnne. im ready for freaking summer, already.♥ thursday is the euporea concert at school. euporea is the dance company at my high school. they have spectacular performances. i cant wait to go with my best friends, britni and gregory!
thanks, ole' blogger for letting me express crap so i dont take it out on other people. Friday please get here soon. we all miss you. [:
No comments:
Post a Comment